Gay Male humour stories
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Upon patting the dog, Harry asked me if I had had a good time in the bookstore. Before coming Harry pulled his cock out of me, and moved to my mouth before unloading. Harry said he was pleased about this in a way, because Willie had breath that could raise the living dead. A few minutes later Willie came down my throat, as I shot my load into his mouth. After Willie came in me, Harry took over, and fucked me for the next twenty minutes. On Saturday, Harry and Willie again visited and we followed the same ritual as before. Willie and I had a wonderful time that evening, and he only left late the following afternoon.
Shortly, Jed turned to look at Gareth and as he did so he extended his left arm and placed his hand behind Gareth’s neck. As Gareth felt his head being pulled downwards Jed said, “There won’t be any extra charge for this.” The musky smell of Jed’s crotch was incredible and Gareth couldn’t believe how good the thick shaft felt in his hand, as really began to polish Jed’s cock-head. With a look of relief, Jed replied, “I won’t charge you for your stay.” Then, with a naughty look on his face he concluded, “But of course, you’ll have to pay for the motor oil you use.” As the guys giggled, Gareth was pulled onto his stomach.
The Gathering took place every second Sunday, from ten p.m. till six p.m. There was a cover charge that included lunch and drinks, but the highlight of this gathering according to Blain, was the barn that had been rigged out for serious M2M action. Turning back and also introducing myself to Andrew, Gary then gestured towards the sling and asked if I had ever been twin fucked. Shortly, the twins decided to swap positions and as they did so, I finally got a look at Brad. His uncut knob and balls looked like a huge butternut and the foreskin at the front of his cock was so thick, that it looked like a doughnut had swallowed his dick-head.
“Jesus, his fucking mouth smells like an ashtray.” Then after lifting his body up he looked at Josh and said, “Smell that mouth and tell me I’m not kidding.” Marc now took control of my mouth and another era of pleasure followed as the guys continued their kissing and ashtray cleaning. After lifting his hand to his nostrils and with an impish grin he said, “Fuck, Josh, you would’ve thought that after our swim the ashtray smell would have washed off our knobs.” After handling his own cock Josh also raised his hand to his nose, “Fuck, you’re right, bro; my dick still smells like an ashtray.”
In one of his usual thoughtless moments, Bryce looked at Vincent, and said, “Fuck, bro, you’re small.” Vincent then smiled as he looked at the stunned faces before him, and then pointing at his dick, he said, “Close your mouths boys, it’s not a holy relic.” Looking down at Bryce’s very average cut cock, Vincent said, “Fuck, bro, you’re small.” Uproarious laughter followed as Bryce stood there blushing, having been taught a valuable lesson. Looking into Bryce’s uneasy eyes, Vincent finally decided to communicate what he had been holding back asking Bryce, up until then. Bryce just sat on the opposite bed totally gobsmacked, looking like a criminal who had been publically exposed for a crime in the communal centre of an eighteenth-century town.
In the communal showers, shortly after our arrival, one of the recruits joked, “Jesus Johnson, if Bugs Bunny saw your dick, you’d be in big trouble.” Amid the laughter ‘Joker’ continued, “You should dye your pubes green, that’ll give your cock an authentic look for Bug’s favourite food.” Johnson laughed along, flapping his vegetable about, before replying that if anyone wanted to gobble on his carrot, they should feel free to do so. This now became a daily ritual in the showers, where Johnson would wave his dick about, calling out to Bugs Bunny to snack on his carrot. “Do you like carrots?” Johnson then asked me with a glint of horniness in his eyes.
Lex also liked to be paid for his ‘services’ and was very popular with the older queens, frequenting the bar. One evening, Phyllis delighted me with two copies of Lex’s porn videos, and I could hardly wait to get home that night. While I was visiting the bar one Friday evening, a few months later, Lex arrived with a buddy and was soon chatting up a middle-aged queen. At around eleven as the bar began to empty, I watched Lex and the queen depart. A few minutes later, Lex stumbled back into the bar. Two nights later at the bar, Lex approached me apologetically and asked if he had ‘shared’ his problem with me.
Then I look across to Casey's empty bed and realise that once again I am stuck with another year of being hopelessly in love with my roommate. We dated for a week before, as much as I liked Jay, I realised that I couldn't maintain a monogamous relationship and decided to end it before we both lost a best friend. I realise at this point, I'm not in the best position if I'm going to continue my plan to convince Casey that I want him and only him so he should ditch whichever boyfriend he has at the moment (the entire time I've known him, the longest period of time he's been single for is five days) and become my boyfriend. Casey hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, "I missed you," he says and my heart swells, "How was your break?"
Fast asleep next to me is what I can only describe a He-Man: sandy-coloured hair in an Army-style buzz cut; a strong, handsome profile with long, delicate eyelashes, and full lips which are currently forming a sleepy, sensuous pout. I delve under the bedsheet with my left hand and feel for the sleeping man's cock. The man moans, and his partner runs a strong hand down my lean torso, cupping my balls, and then stroking the length of my shaft with his middle finger. The Latino continues to stroke my cock in time with my own hands, and his fair-haired partner massages my chest, then my stomach, then my inner thighs.
Joey tends to be the "hot one" of our group (although just as many guys are into Brent, I'm always just the "cute friend") and with blonde hair, bright green eyes, a nice tan and a body to die for I can see why. I feel a hand on the back of my head and noticed the pilot thrusting his cock slightly. I feel his balls tighten in my hand and the large, nine inch cock tense all the way from my lips to the back of my throat. I recall the man's steel-blue eyes and kind face as we kissed that last time and can't help thinking that he was the kind of guy I'd like to marry someday.
He stopped, raised an eyebrow and the world's most disgustingly smirky smirk shone from his face like a fucking light bulb. What part of me looks like a fucking....!?" Before I could finish he had lunged at me, knocking the air out of me and my hold on my precious disinfectant. I opened my mouth to ask him how the hell he knew what a urologist was but before I could start, he had sat down hard on my face, pushing his oversized hairy balls into my mouth. I came so hard and long, by the time I had finished I simply feinted, remembering with faint horror the feel of his seed leaking out of my ass.
"We need to get them home." Lion held Spider up as Trevor glanced at Nick who was clearly finding the situation tremendous fun. "Come on Nile, let's get you home." Nile was slightly steadier on his feet and walked after Lion, telling Trevor that he loved him. Spider was all vomited out as they got towards Jason's home -- Nick was thankful that he wasn't singing, the houses in this neighbourhood awed him. Nick stood at the door and sent Lion a text to tell him that he'd got him home safely and was amused to get a reply which informed him that Nile had vomited on Lion's shoes. "This is Nick, he helped me home." Spider told him, feeling sick with the smell of bacon.
A platinum blond emo boy pokes his head out the doorway to reply, "We keep telling you that we don't know what 'twat' means so we can't really find it that insulting." He turns to me and his jaw drops, "Jamie? "So Declan, Blaine, this is the rest of the band: my boyfriend and our drummer; Kellan, our singer and pianist; Raven -- don't ask about the name -- and our rhythm guitarist and backup singer; Jamie. My jaw drops and Xander, Kellan and Raven all start laughing, leaving Declan and Blaine to look very confused. "Sorry, I should probably explain," Xander says, "Jamie is an old friend of mine and, as you will no doubt learn, I love to mess with my friends so he actually had no idea that we were going to get him to be in our band."
I feel Dale's cock twitch and knew he was close to cumming. All three were completely naked and Dale was slowly stroking his cock while the black haired guy who I recognised as Hector, the wide receiver, sucked off Brady; the blond quarterback with massive arm muscles. "Before you take the Ultimate Dildo, I should warn you, it comes with a curse," Dale warns, "After the Dildo makes you cum, you will never truly enjoy anything up your ass again until you find a boy you love." The Dildo, being longer, reaches further into me than Dale's cock but I feel him start to shoot and his cum goes further into me than the Dildo.
He says the only way he'll allow his cum to enter your throat today, is if you come home and let him fuck it." She continued panting and squealing at an elevated rate before obviously experiencing another earth shattering orgasm. I could hear Tyrone speak out in the background, clearly the phone was on hands free, "Yeah dude, you can come back now man, those other softcocks have already fucked your better half and are all gone, besides, you know how much I like having you here watching me fuck your wife," Tyrone began grunting a little harder before continuing, "...Just hurry if you wanna watch me unloading into her hole dude, I'll only be able to last another half hour or so, ahhh -", he growled as he obviously started pounding harder into my wife.